Like most of us, I’ve struggled with a number of bad habits that I’ve wanted to change. My most recent was like a ghost that only came out at night… specifically, after dinner. I’ll tell you how I got rid of this ghost in a moment.
Everybody has habits: good habits, bad habits, annoying habits and compulsive habits. The habits we want to cultivate are helpful habits.
Initially, habits are a one-off action, in response to a trigger. When we encounter the trigger again, we repeat the action. After enough repetition, autopilot kicks in and our action becomes a habitual response to the trigger, without us being aware of what we are doing.
There are 2 main motivators at play when it comes to creating our habits:
- I don’t want (moving away from a threat)
- I want (moving towards a reward)
When we experience either of these motivators, hormones flood our brain, impacting how we behave. The common culprits are Dopamine, Cortisol and Serotonin.
Dopamine – the feel good hormone
Dopamine feeds the Prefrontal Cortex to give us feelings of motivation, satisfaction and pleasure.
Cortisol – the stress hormone
Cortisol responds to stress or danger, bringing pessimism and caution, and can trigger the fight or flight response.
Serotonin – the antidepressant
Serotonin regulates our mood and can be increased by mindfulness exercises like deep breathing or hyper-focusing on one of your senses.
Our perception and interpretation is influenced by our thinking. Our thinking is influenced by our attention and focus. So, what we focus on triggers either our threat or reward response, which impacts our reaction to a situation. Being aware of our triggers gives us the opportunity to choose how we respond, instead of reacting out of habit.
One fantastic method I’ve found super effective is The Four Step Solution from Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz’s book: “You Are Not Your Brain.” It’s a game-changer for managing those pesky negative thoughts and behaviours. Let me break it down for you:
1. Relabel: Start by recognising those negative thoughts for what they are—just thoughts, not facts. Label them as unhelpful or inaccurate.
2. Reframe: Next, work on changing your perspective. Reframe those thoughts in a more positive and realistic light. Challenge their validity.
3. Refocus: Redirect your attention. Shift your focus to something positive, productive, or engaging. This helps break the cycle of negative thinking.
4. Revalue: Finally, reassess the value of those negative thoughts. Recognise that they don’t define you or your worth. Assign them less importance.
The Four Step Solution truly worked wonders for me in banishing my nighttime ghostly snacking habit. You know, that sneaky urge to munch on sweets even when I wasn’t hungry? Here’s how I applied those four steps to exorcise that ghost:
I relabelled my urge to snack as an unhelpful impulse.
I reframed the impulse as optional – I did not have to indulge it.
I refocused my actions after dinner by brushing my teeth. This made me much less tempted to snack.
I revalued the impulse, giving it zero importance, and choosing to ignore it.
Why not give The Four Step Solution a try for yourself? Start by tackling just one habit at a time.
I’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment and share the helpful habits you’re looking to develop. And if you need any support in honing those new habits, don’t hesitate to reach out. Together, we can make positive changes happen! 🌟