When unpacking the inner workings of our minds – our habits, thought patterns, and inner critics – it’s helpful for us to use metaphor and conceptualisation. It allows us to imbue a sense of tangibility on what can otherwise be very complex and difficult to define. Sometimes, the key to understanding and utilising our mental processes is finding the metaphor or framework that works best for us. The moment something clicks is often the moment something is described in a slightly different way.
Consider this scenario:
You have just taken on a new project at work: something you have never done before, but you have the perfect skillset. As you’re working, you feel things flow easily, and you intuitively know which direction to go; the right steps to take. Then, you officially submit the first stage, and the doubt starts to creep in.
Every time a meeting is scheduled, you expect bad news. Your mind races, inventing reasons for others to tell you the work is terrible. When the meetings come, you receive nothing but praise. Yet still, every time one is scheduled, negative self-talk reigns.
Once you’ve recognised this pattern, redirecting your thinking with a specific approach may be beneficial. There are a million ways to do it, so consider which frameworks below speak to you as an individual.
The Positive Intelligence Approach
PQ asks you to identify which saboteurs may be at play here. Maybe it’s the Hyper-Achiever, only allowing you a moment to feel accomplished before seeking the next success. Maybe it’s the Hyper-Vigilant, always on the lookout for the worst to happen: being told you’re not good enough; being removed from the project; losing your job.
Knowing the PQ framework and which saboteurs relate to you allows you to notice the pattern and expose the lies:
- My Hyper-Achiever is telling me that I need to do more, but I’ve achieved great things already
- My Hyper-Rational is trying to identify and protect me from danger, but I have received no feedback or evidence to suggest my job is at risk
Once you’ve caught the saboteur, do PQ reps to pause and choose a more positive response. Remind yourself of the impressive things you’ve achieved. Assure yourself that you are safe, and direct your thoughts to facts that prove it (positive feedback received, being chosen for the project in the first-place).
The Sushi Master Approach
Imagine you’re at a sushi train, where the plates continually roll through on a conveyor belt. If a dish you HATE passes by, you won’t pick it up. The train operates on a loop, and the dish will continue to circle past you. But no matter how many times it comes along, you still don’t have to take it.
Treat your negative-self talk the same way.
When a meeting is scheduled, and you notice your mind stressing that others actually HATE your work, make the choice to not pick up that particular plate. The thought might keep popping back into your head, coming around on the train, but no matter how many times you think about it, you can choose not to continue.
More approaches to consider:
The Betting Approach: Think about the actual probability of the outcome you’re worried about. Would you confidently place a bet on it happening?
The Naming Approach: Clearly separate your self and your thoughts by giving the anxious voice a name. Recognise that Worrying Wendy is different to you, and not grounded in reality.
The Electrical Chatter Approach: Imagine your brain is a large processing centre, with a million signals buzzing around. It’s designed to detect danger, but sometimes, the perceived threat is a result of incorrectly processed data. There’s always a mixture of purposeful and completely random thoughts occurring, and not all of them need to be processed.
The Productive/Unproductive Approach: When a negative thought arises, label it as productive or unproductive. Is the thought actually prompting you to take helpful action? Or will it achieve nothing if you continue thinking it?
There are a million ways we can give definitions and names to our inner voices, thought patterns, and brain functions. They’re all borne of different people’s desires to conceptualise their intangible inner workings. Some will be incredibly helpful for one individual, and meaningless for another. Some may even work for one scenario, or one point in our lives, but be less effective for others.
The best thing we can do is play and experiment with which approaches work for us. Remain curious and learn constantly.
If you have a great technique, drop it in the comments below. It may just resonate for the next reader.